Bollocks to you, bollocks to me.

She pulls on thick suck-in pants under black netted tights; a bra fit-to-bust with double the required breast size and a palpable pudgy overhang; the plunge pool of her belly groans with the strain of a large portion meal tucked into a small-portion skirt. Low neckline, adorned with a hand-shaped pendant reaching low into her cleavage. It's meant to symbolise a Muslim's promise to prayer five times a day: the true meaning is lost in folds of fat and irony. All this to advertise the undertow of emotional need; sex and love are relative terms. The two are simultaneously irrelevant and unlikely.

Women are shit.