Hey, did you know?

That Malthus' 1798 predictions regarding the sustainability of an exponentially increasing population combined with an arithmetically increasing amount of food is applicable to living conditions in Africa?

Well, now that you do, it is required of you to take my Geography A Level exam for me. Ahahaha. Ha. I wish I was dead.

I'm Not Even Going to Try to Explain This.

I heard there was a secret call
To Dominoes, and it pleased us all
But you don't really care for pizza, do you?
Well it goes like this: Some salami
Extra cheese, no anchovy
The baffled call composing pepperoni.

Pepperoni, pepperoni, pepperoni, pepperoni...

Well the taste was good, but needed spice
We'd hoped double jalapenos would suffice
The heat of this new pizza overthrew you
We tied you to the kitchen chair
Force-fed you spice and it wasn't fair
But from your burnt lips we made some pepperoni

Pepperoni, pepperoni, pepperoni, pepperoni...

Baby I've been here before
I've ordered double cheese and I've wanted more
I used eat alone before I knew you
I've seen your diet plan for March
You say pizza's just a source of starch
But I think there's protein in pepperoni

Pepperoni, pepperoni, pepperoni, pepperoni...

Well there was a time when you let me know
Which topping's calorie count was low
But now you never share that with me do you?
But remember: we're too fat to move
And our family doctor disapproves
There's some heart problems involved with pepperoni

Well, maybe we have pizza breath
And pizza love will cause our death
But we can't escape an urge for more anchovy
It's not a food to eat all the time
Unless you steal from the fridge at night
If you don't mind cold, leftover pepperoni

Pepperoni, pepperoni, pepperoni, pepperoni...


*single tear*

Ahahaha, hahaha, haha.

I've finished my geography coursework. It's so late I've developed cataracts. Or I can see ghosts.

I'm going to die in my sleep and the last day of my life will have been spent in the most boring way physically possible. I think I might have to kill God as some form of retribution for putting me through this. God invented geography, malaria, H.I.V. and geographers who live to study such things and write long and dull publications about it. I hate you, God. Even the fact that you have a beard does not make up for this.

GOD: But it IS a rather marvellous and luxuriant beard.
ME: Oh, alright then. But you have to let me caress it.
GOD: But I just washed it and your hands are all sticky.
ME: If you don't let me stroke it I'll beat you to death with a crucifix.

No one likes to be beaten to death with a small plastic effigy of their son nailed to a post.